Wednesday, April 4, 2007

"What are you in here for?"

I gotta share what happened to me last night, in a Peter Griffin 'grind my gears' kinda way. I was at the Joss Stone Sydney show, and straight after the encore, these two E-poppin teeny Joss wannabes came stumbling to where my girl and I were standing, and insist on using us as structural support while yelling at the top of their voices. Now it's a show, and I know they're fully in their right to get a little vocal... but I'm talkin everything from "where's the bathroom Joss?" to "Joss, the ice in my drink is cold!" to "I love that colour on you Josssh"... everything BUT. So I politely turn around and smile, expecting to hear a cute "sorry, we'll watch the show now"... but instead, after facing the front again, the bitch... pours her drink... over my head.  

I'm just gonna let that sink in a little... let you think about what reaction you'd have in that situation. Huh? What? You'd smash her? Yeh, that's how people end up with a permanent record. But it sooo crossed my mind. 

So I turn around, grab both their drinks [one a little emptier than the other] and throw them over the front railing, then I look her in the eye with my best Pacino face and calmly say "back... up". She crawls into her shell, just in time for her friend to adjust from go to whoa and SCREAM obscenities all over my face. I'm talkin everybody lookin on with those eyes saying 'dude, I know you're so in the right right now, but I'm thrilled it's not happening to me, so I'm just gonna chill over here in the safe zone, cool?'. I want to hit her, I really do... I even want to grab them by the arms and 'remove' them from the show... but seriously, what are my options here? So I turn around, shake the beer outta my hair, and try to get back into the show... while she screams stuff like "yeah that's right, you TURN around!!" Then the original chick leans forward and sarcastically whispers, "Don't worry, my Dad's a Neurosurgeon... I know how you people are". WHAT?! You people?? Bitch, I'm a music video director..... how much more of NOT a doctor or a lawyer do you want me to be here??? Man, that made my blood boil. But again, throwing a drink over somebody's head probably isn't classed as 'assault', where I can guarantee forcing the bridge of her nose up into her frontal lobe IS.  People suck.

Jon [Josh]. 

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